The Talking Lion

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Onion > actual onions

The Onion is my lover.

Weighing in on the medical marijuana decision with perfect pitch:

Last week, the Supreme Court upheld the federal government's right to ban marijuana use, even in states that allow it for medical reasons. What do
you think?

Brian Netter
"I was surprised by the judges' reaction to this whole thing. Especially Scalia, because, y'know, he's cool." Brian Netter, Tile Setter
Robert Yablon
"The Court made the right decision. Once you legalize the medical use of marijuana, it's only a matter of time before you start seeing medical use of harder narcotics, like morphine." Robert Yablon, Banker
Daniel S. Korobkin
"Dude, the small-government-advocating, states-rights-supporting conservatives must've been totally high when they wrote that decision." Daniel S. Korobkin, Podiatirst



  • Dear Madame,
    I feel the use of "MARY JANE" is a serious issue in this nation. Most people do not realize the adverse effects of using this "cannibus". The worst of which is SECOND HAND HIGH. Yes, that's right. While all you hooligans are clambaking and cavorting around with your doobins and snoogins, the rest of us good, upstanding citizens are left reeling in the aftermath of your HIPPIE SHANANNIGANS! For shame on you lot, and for shame on your mutated hippie-rat falcon babies. Pardon me, I need to go soak my teeth. Good Evening.

    Admiral Robert Simpson Petrie, Mrs.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wednesday, 15 June, 2005  

  • Admiral, you have encapsulated what sits in the depths of my soul.

    By Blogger Patrick, at Wednesday, 15 June, 2005  

  • OH, God, you're right, Admiral.

    OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?!?!?!

    By Blogger Arun, at Wednesday, 15 June, 2005  

Post a Comment

<< Home