The Talking Lion

Monday, July 11, 2005

Fox News is the awesomest kind of awesome

Don't hate the network just because it's an obviously partisan propaganda outlet. Also hate the network because it produces bad journalism.

After the attacks on London, Fox News aired some distasteful and inappropriate news commentary. A few anchors on the network had some interesting comments about the events in London this past week. For example, there's this:

The host of a Fox News program, Brian Kilmeade, said the attacks had the effect of putting terrorism back on the top of the G8's agenda, in place of global warming and African aid. "I think that works to our advantage, in the western world's advantage, for people to experience something like this together, just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened."

Yes, and this is why it would be good if the terrorists attacked the United States again because it would guaratee another Republican president and would help the GOP increase their stranglehold on both houses of Congress. The ends always justify the means. And also, global warming is just a theory. Like Evolution. And those Africans? Who gives a shit? That whole continent is just a hopeless cause. We should focus on something a litle more realistic, like declaring war on an ideology and claiming that it is a war that "we will win." But wait, it gets better. My man John Gibson had some poignant analysis too:

Another Fox News host, John Gibson, said before the blasts that the International Olympic Committee "missed a golden opportunity" by not awarding the 2012 games to France. "If they had picked France instead of London to hold the Olympics, it would have been the one time we could look forward to where we didn't worry about terrorism. They'd blow up Paris, and who cares?" He added: "This is why I thought the Brits should let the French have the Olympics - let somebody else be worried about guys with backpack bombs for a while."

Yes. Who cares if the terrorists attack France? That's what they get for disseting from the United States. Haven't they gotten the memo about us being the most powerful nation in the world? What goes around, comes around. "They'd blow up Paris and who cares?" Some variation of that needs to be the new tagline for Fox News. Forget about "Fair and Balanced" and "We Report, You Decide." The new slogan could be any one of the following:

Fox News: Paris is destroyed? Let's have a parade!
Fox News: Paris got bombed by terrorists? (Giggle)
Fox News: Paris has been blown to bits? Time to dance a jig!

Also, there's my favorite U. Va. grad, Brit Hume. Speaking on the reaction of the markets, Brit mentioned that the attacks may open up some windows for him financialy. And I quote: "Just on a personal basis ... I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought 'hmm, time to buy.'" Oh, how it cheers my heart and warms my blood to hear him spout shit so coarse. Wahoowa, Brit. Wahoowa.

And this is the most-watched cable news channel in America. Excuse me while I slam my head against the wall for the next 15 minutes.


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