The Talking Lion

Friday, August 12, 2005

Whatever, She Totally Likes It

On the main page of, I just found this all-too appropriate headline linking to the lead story:

Timing for Pullout From Iraq Remains Unclear

I can just see it now: Back in late 2002 and early 2003 Bush was bragging to his friends about how he's going to fuck this bitch Iraq and they all warned him that he should use a condom. But Georgie Boy was a little too cocky, and told them all to go to hell. He figured he has superb control and could totally bail out of there when he was ready to climax. Besides, condoms are for pussies (no pun intended); any real man keeps it natural. There was no need to think about taking precautions and plan what would happen in case something went wrong, Dubya's got it all under control.

So that fateful night finally came, and things started out really well. She was totally into Bush, screaming "Liberate Me!" at the top of her lungs. It turned out that our commander-in-chief didn't know what he was getting himself into, and after a while, he totally lost it. He had no idea what he was doing anymore and completely lost his composure. The bitch wanted it to end as soon as possible, but Bush was in over his head. There was no way he was going to pull out when he wanted too, and he was stuck with the prospect of knocking this chick up and having to deal with her and her problems for the next few years down the road. All he was looking for was a good freedom fuck, and now he has to deal with all of this.

Don't let this happen to you kids. Use a condom. And also, don't invade other nations when you don't have any semblence of an exit strategy...


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